Normal Service Resumed. I’m over my little rant now and feel the need to share a photo with you.
I’d love to tell you some wild story about the capture of this critter on camera…So I will
For the purposes of this fictional story, I will call this Seal Sally. (I’m sure C would be able to enlighten us with the breed of Seal. At which point I may return to this post and change Sally’s name)
Right. so I was swimming though lake Erie on my way to lake Ontario when I came into a spot of bother. You see I had been swimming for a good 24 hours now and I was starting to feel a little tired. I couldn’t stop though. I had a plane to catch. So I called up Sally while treading water. I know what your thinking, what would a seal be doing with a ‘cell phone’,(whilst in Rome). They clearly don’t make enough money to be able to afford a price plan. Thanks to Orange though (Other phone carriers are available), Sally was able to take out a contract on their Seal plan. anyway back to the story… Sally turned up and was happy to give me a lift. I was grateful for the ride, my arms and legs were killing me. I must admit though, I did feel a little embarrassed when a school of Mackerel swam past laughing at me. I’d like to take the time to explain to you that I don’t usually accept lifts from female Seal’s but I was in a hurry! I was debating with Sally as to which slip stream from the water surface high way we should take when I realised that we’d picked up speed. I realised we were heading for The Niagara falls (well not all three of them, Just the biggest, baddest and most terrible of the falls) It was too late to turn back, Sally wasn’t powerful enough to out swim the currents of the menacing fall, Besides, I would have been late if we turned back. We managed to fins some purchase on a rock island in the middle of the fast flowing water. We discussed plans on how to meet up at the bottom of the falls. unfortunately it was a Sunday, everyone knows that seal’s flock to under side of Niagara fall’s to shower on a Sunday. Without being racist I explained to Sally that all seals look the same to me and I wouldn’t be able tell her from Joe (who is a lovely seal by the way) We laughed as she explained that all us humans look the same to her too and that there were loads of them flocking around to perv over the showering seals. We decided to take photo’s of each other with our waterproof camera (all bases covered see). She took a lovely picture of me with my cheeks ballooned with as much ait in them as possible and my arms flailing around like mad, as this is likely to be the pose I’ll be in when we meet on the other side. Just as I was about to take my picture of her, a very busy pelican flew into me, he was speeding and talking with an ear piece (obviously a very important business pelican). He apologised as he flew off but the damage had been done. I lost my balance and fell in quickly making my way towards the falls.Sally dived in after me knowing that if I went over the edge without a photo it would take us hours to sift through the mess of Humans, Seals and water to find each other. This would definitely result in me missing my flight, Sally would be late for her performance too (She’d spend months perfecting her seal show at Tamper bay). Sally extended her flipper as I was going over the edge and grabbed my arm. With my free arm I was able to stable myself and take a picture of her as she tried her hardest to drag me back to the top and the safety of the rock. (Slightly unbelievable I know, It’s difficult to take a picture with one hand)
We both fell down the water fall together. I found the time to have a quick wash and go to the toilet. There’s just no room in those airplane water closets! It all worked out well. We used the photos to ID each other and we were on our way in little under 8 minutes. I made my flight and arrived back to the UK on time. Sally managed to arrive at her performance on time and won the hearts of both seals and humans a like. The busy Business pelican received a 10 fish fine and was late to his meeting. (Justice!)
Back to reality (Do I have to?). I took this photo in the Smithsonian. Yes it is a stuffed seal and yes it was hanging from the ceiling. Told you the truth was far less interesting!!!