Sorry I havent been posting as regularly as usual…
I havent been feeling too good. For quite some time now I have been feeling dizzy and light headed. I usually get a lot of headaches and can deal with them, but feeling light headed for this length of time has started to worry me. I guess it’s time to visit my not so local GP and see what he has to say on the matter. I don’t like going to my GP, I’ve spent a lot of time there in the past for various reasons I wont go into today. I know it’s just me making this up but I really feel like he see’s me as a time waster. I feel that I’m wasting other patient’s time, the people who are more worthy of the Doc’s time. Today, my fear of the unknown and the fear that something might be really wrong and I can stop it if I get seen early enough.
Next thing – I had my 1 to 1 with my boss today. We have them every quarterly to discuss any issues we may have. I tend to keep quite while nodding and agreeing with everything he says. Today though, he asked me a very difficult question. Where do I see myself in 5 years. How the hell am I suppose to answer that when I tent to live on a week by week basis! I’m not that good at the job I do, I stress over not knowing things that I feel I should know by now. This is my 1st real job since leaving college. I’ve been doing the same kind of things for BT for the past 7 years! I don’t even know what else I could be doing let alone where I see myself or where I want to be. The simple answer is surviving.
On a more positive note. I finally got an allotment ( I know what your thinking, how typically old man-ish of me) and you’d probably be right. The thought of having a nice symmetrical plot of land to organise and ‘fix’ excites me. I’ve already strated graphical ‘geeky’ drawings of what I want and where. I’m currently shed hunting. I’m going to take my old small shed and stick it on my allotment so I can keep a few things there under lock and key. Then I’ll get a nice newbig new one for my house. This should tie in nicely with my new bike arriving. I have lot’s of things to keep be occupied now! I know, The highlight of my week is getting an allotment and buying a new shed – sad!
Soooo Today’s list of things to do are,
1. Try and find my doc’s new number and make an appointment
2. Finally decide on which of the three bikes I’m going to get. (Took me about 3 hours of review reading to come up with the short list – I may need help from you guys on this)
4. Book my car in to be fixed (It’s having a few mental problems too – like owner like car!)
5. Buy my scouts leader uniform
6. Choose and buy a nice new set of garden tools for the allotment (more veg / fruit seeds need to be chosen too)
Ok I guess I’m not going to get all of this done today alone. But with the help of my new ‘To Do’ app on my phone, I’m able to write it all done and tick off the things I have done – panic averted!