Oh how I miss my Trek America trip. Every now and again I look back over my photos and remember all the god times I had, the amazing things I saw and the awesome people I met.

I honestly can’t remember another time in my life where I have felt so relaxed and at home. Yes the accommodation was basic but it was so refreshing just living on the essentials, not having to worry about anything. I miss the nights sat around the camp fire with a couple of Buds and a lot of good conversation.

This particular photo was taken on our second camp site, it was lovely. We set up right in the middle of a load of trees and even though it was raining we had a good time. We made chilli con carne that night and it was lovely. Usually I’m a fussy eater but it wa like a new me while I was out there, I ate anything anyone gave me and whats more, I enjoyed it. When life starts to get a little tough, I take a bit of time to sit and think about how I felt while I was over there. If anyone is considering going to with Trek America, I’d 100% recommend it, I can honestly say it was the best days of my life so far!

DD

 

Jiminy Cricket!

I found this little critter on my last trip to Spain. i always ake sure to take my Macro lens with me when I go, I love hunting around for their weird and wonderful insects and plants. I managed to tak a few of him whilst he was happy sat on his leaf and a number of shots where he’d jumped off and I hadn’t even noticed. that was a fairly productive day for my camera and I. I can’t remember the last day i woke up and thought, “right, all I plan on doing today is to take a load of pictures”.

i guess a trip to Spain is what the Dr is trying to perscribe, a place where I can rest and not worry about the little problems that day to day life brings whilst back at home. I think I take better pictures when stress free too. i tend to worry less about people stairing at me with my big camera and lens and focus more on my surroundings and whats going on.

I’m in a place at the moment where there’s no one I can go with though. I like going off for a few hours on my own but would probably find it boring going over there on my own. So for now, my next trip to sapin is on hold. Could have done with some sun too!

DD

 

I’m no Nazi

Lost all hope in people today. So I’ll stick to a photo.

This is one of the first photos I took with my Macro 100mm lens. Soo as I got it I took it round to my nans garden (It’s much bigger and has a stronger variant of plant types and colours)

This is a particular favourite of mine as it combined two of my past times. I got to spend a few hours wandering around the garden lost in my own little world looking for visitors. There’s something relaxing about having nothing to do and a big open garden to do it in. No pressure, no time restraints, just nature. Many of times I  have found myself day dreaming in the summer sunshine with bird song in the back ground.

This little hover fly was a very easy model to work with. He landed right in front of me and gave me plenty of time to get a comfortable position and take the photo. I was just messing about with the camera at the time but I’m fairly pleased with the result.

I often wonder how simple life must be for him. Yes im sure he has pressures and fears like everybody but ow aware of them is he? It must be sch a simple life to just have to worry about getting food, reproducing and not being eaten yourself.

I thought about his before, why do animals have the instinct to reproduce? Why do they fight to death with other males of the species to ‘win’ the rights to mate with a female. Obviously, as a species they have to reproduce to survive an obviously, the stronger of the species is required to mate in order to strengthen the species but do they actually think that? Is that whats going through their head?

I think humans should have this basic natural behaviour too (It wouldn’t help me out much. I’m definitely not a stronger member of the species or the smartest, so my chances of mating if we did behave like this is kind of on a par with my chances at the moment). I don’t think animals have the capacity to think about the future past their current life time. I know some species prepare for the future of themselves and their little ones but it’s no the same. If we did this though, think what the possibilities for future humans. If the strongest mated with the smartest then future generations would get smarter and stronger. Instead People with money sleep with girls with big fake boobs.he sense in that? Where’s the evolutionary progress there? Ok I suppose most blokes who sleep with those kind of women don’t have reproduction on their mind. If come to the conclusion that humans are stupid, me included!

After proof reading this post – It has come to my attention that I may come across a bit Nazi-ish with the whole ‘ further the human race by pairing of the stronger / smarter individuals) I guess there’s a fine line between common sence, nature and insane phycoticness

DD

 

When he’s inside you know there’s no room for me…

2 songs

My penultimate 10 day – you – challenge post. I consider this one to be another difficult subject. How am I ment to choose two songs from thousands. According to my generic mp3 player, I have over 8 days worth of songs! Granted some of them are guilty pleasures and some I skip when ever they come around on shuffle (why do I bother having them then???) But still, that’s a lot of songs to narrow down to just two I will probably read back ver this most some time in the future and change my mind. t will probably play on my mind for the nest few days and I’ll think about other songs that I should have written about and forgot about. As of this moment though, here are two songs..

1- Stricken, No doubt, from The Beacon Street Collection. This song means a lot to me for a number of reasons. Firstly, J lent me this album when we we’re both training at Yarnfield together. We use to play it in my car when ever we went to get something to eat in the evenings or on Friday’s when I dropped him off at the train station to go home. I have fond memories of Yarnfield and my friendship with J and when ever I hear a song from this album I am transported back to a time in life where I had found a true friend, had a great relationship with someone who really cared about me and a job that I was enjoying. Stricken is the fourth track on the album and reminds me of Z and the feeling’s I had for her. Notice I used a past tense, I still have feelings for her, but they are very different, I’m not going into all that now. My favourite line ” My love for you makes me numb, I can’t feel”, at times in ou relationship, I’d be overcome with a feeling of happiness, so much so that I’d just sit in a daze with a big smile on my face. I know it sounds cheesy. I don’t think I’ll ever be that happy again, each time a relationship I’m in ends, I find that my feelings for the person I’m in the next relationship with isn’t as strong, (excuse the bad English, I,m getting tired now) P.s I love Gwen Stefani’s mouth!!!

2- Damn Girl, all American Rejects, When The World comes Down. I listened to this album repetitively for about 6 months. This song in particular helped me get over Z greatly. (Sorry both songs I have chosen are bout Z but i had a year of watching long box sets of TV programs and listening to music) Favourite line, ” No girl, you can’t see. When he’s inside you know there’s no room for me” (Is this ment to be rude???)- This was during a period when Z had just split up with me and started dating the boy she had an affair with. I still wanted her ( I still do), and she was undecided whether to go us another try or stay with her new fella. She needed time to decide so I tried hard not to bug her about it, but the months of not knowing what was going to happen really took its toll on me. the lyrics in this song mimicked how I felt and in some way made me feel a little better and less anxious about the outcome. needless to say she chose the other guy, maybe it was for the best. I guess we’ll never know.

DD

 

Where did I leave my keys?

This was taken during one of my many trips to Chester Zoo. Others will disagree but I consider it to be the best zoo in the country. ( I suppose I haven’t been to all of them) The animals all seem really happy and lively here, I disagree that animals should be kept locked up instead of roaming around free in most cases anyway, but I also understand that some times it’s necessary.

As someone who likes the uniqueness and millions of different variations between animals all around the world, It is a great opportunity to see these animals without traveling millions of miles and spending millions of pounds. It also makes photographing them a much easier task, lugging bags and bags of camera equipment across open ground whilst trying to spot a wild animal would be very difficult. Then there’s the fact tat wild animals aren’t use to humans, So the chances of me getting close enough with my little ameture lens would be extremely low.

The only problem with Zoo’s (from a photographer’s point of view (not that  class myself as one)), is the amount of fence, glass and caging to keep the animals in and humans out. Luckily the meerkat enclosure at Chester Zoo has an open section from about waist height upwards. This allowed me to get this shot of a young meerkat without any obstructions. It’s sad to see a family of wild animals become so sensitized to humans. Makes me wonder though, if Zoo’s didn’t exist, would more people want to go on safari type holidays to see these animals or would people try harder to acquire these animals as pets? Maybe it’s a case of sparing a few for the good of many.

Either way, I enjoy going to zoos and seeing animals that I wouldn’t usually see. I enjoy reviewing my photos and remembering all the wonderful animals I saw during the day. If other people enjoy looking at them, then it’s an extra bonus. Other photo’s taken at Chester Zoo by myself can be found here

I’d love to be able to make money from my pictures but A) I don’t think they’re good enough to sell nad B) If they were, I wouldn’t know where to start. Who would I go to and ask for a job? I’d love to be an official photographer for Chester Zoo, I’d even take pictures for them for free. Would be awesome to see one of my photos on their advertisements or banners at the Zoo. If anyone has any contacts, please let me know…

DD

 

Useless Facts and Captivating Stories

4 books –

1. The hunger games trilogy. I have to mention these. I’m currently reading the third one.

The first book of the three (The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins) was given to me by Jemma whilst I was in america. We were sitting on her bed in the Hosteling International NY. I spend my last few hours in America chatting to her and feeling sorry for myself ( and eating the biggest greasiest slice of pizza in the world). I don’t know how we got onto the topic of books, but we decided to swap. I had a book called Left Behind, which I’ll talk about next. It was a good idea to swap books. I had a long journey on my own ahead of me and knew that I’d be missing her after spending the majority of the last two weeks with her. I got to the airport extra early, paranoid that I’d miss my train / flight. the anxiety felt when the train was 20 minutes late was immense! Lugging my bag around a very busy Pen station in New York is not my idea of fun at the best of times! Once sat at the airport, 3 hours early, I began to relax. I wished Jemma was with me. It was then that I remembered her book and began reading it. I became engrossed. It’s set in the future (not sure how far). It centres around a Mayor of the world i guess, who decides to punish his residence for an earlier uprising. Each year, two children under tha ge of 14 from each district have to compete to the death in a very large arena. It is televised for all to see, Kind of like a more exciting version of big Brother. I don’t do it any justice but it’s good. My days of doing english Lit at college are forcing me to read into the storyline and compare it to today’s society and the idealism’s that the author has. I’ll spare you all the ear ache though. Needless to say, reading the book made me feel close to Jemma even though i knew the chances of seeing her again were very unlikely. 

2. The left behind series. Ok a disclosure is required here. Yes i know they are religious books based on the rapture and second coming of the lord. Yes I have read all 13 books in the series. No I’m not a particularly religious person, I just enjoyed the story line. I was bought up a Catholic. every sunday up untill the age of 14 or so I went to mass with my mom. I know all about the rapture and judgement day and remember being scared shitless of it as a child. My life changed when I discovered girls and started thinking for myself. I think the church is very hypocritical at times and greedy. They have the cheek to host CAFOD once a year ( Catholic Association For Over Seas Development) where your suppose to give up something for lent and donate the money saved to help others. All very good in principle but is dwarfed by the fact that the Vatican is the richest country in the world and sits upon millions and millions of pounds worth of famous paintings, works of art and literature. Oh well, let’s not get into a heated debate about all this right now. The books managed to use all the info from Revelations and portray it in a modern setting. It deals with biblical events but entwines them in a story line that is both believable and relatable to the reader. I read these books when I was younger and decided to re-read them recently. I managed to finish the 1st book in the series while in America before giving it to Jemma. Oh and as a little side line – the ‘devil’  strongly reminds me of President Obama!!!

3. Nick Stone series – Nick Stone is a fictional character in a series of books written by Andy McNab. This character spans over 13 of Andy’s books in total. Andy uses his past experiences as an SAS soldier to provide in depth detail. nick Stone is a ‘deniable operative’ kind of like a spy really. I like these books because Nick Stone is very logical. it’s good to see how he deals with certain situations that a rise throughout the books. I tend to imagine myself in his situations and think about how I would act or what I would do next. Needless to say, I’d crap myself and have a massive panic attack if anything remotely as stressful happened in my life! They’re a good read, even for women.  The 1st few books center around nick trying to keep imself and his friends daughter alive after her family were killed by profesionals. the way the realationship evolves between the two as they are thrown head first into some seriously scary situations is brilliant.

       

4. The Dangerous Book For Boys – A slightly less serious book, but fun non the less. I tend to think of it as a guide to being male. It’s full of useful facts and geeky skills. Most of the things I have learnt from this book, I have never needed yo use before  but they were fun to read about at the time. The problem is, my memory is as useful as a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Unless I use these newly acquired skills, I tens to forget all about them. still, it means I get to read the book all over again and reacquaint myself with the totally useless but interesting knowledge inside.

DD

 

I wish for world peace

7 Wants

Another difficult one. I don’t really want much from life at all. I suppose my wants can all be summed up into 1 single phase – to be happy. Obviously there is a number of factors that influence how happy I feel, some of these I can do something about, others can do something about some and some factors nobody can do anything about.

1. Being happy is obviously a complex task and I don’t think it’s possible for someone to be truly happy for ever. there’s always something in life to knock you back down a level when your feeling good. My first want would be for me to not have mental issues. I never use to have them, I’ve always been shy and unsociable but I see them as a trait rather than a ‘problem’ It’s just who I am. But I do have issues with anxiety and depression (I know, I know. I’ve mentioned it before) It would be nice to have a normal brain that doesn’t over think everything and envisage over complex scenarios that would never happen aswell as focusing heavily on the mostly negative of these. I’ve spoken with C on this subject many times before. If I though less about anything in particular, would that make me a different person. Would I become as thoughtless as the majority of the general public? I don’t fancy becoming a Jeremy Kyle show regular! Either way, I want to live my life without these mental problems.

2. I want C to be happy. Most other people I know seem pretty happy in their lives apart from C. I mean, I like her how she is now, I just wish there was something I could do to help. Another one of my brain malfunctions is that I always have to try to solve problems. If I’m confronted with one I can’t stop thinking about it until I’ve come up with a logical solution. In C’s case, I’m totally useless.

3. A big shiny sports car!!! No not really, I like my car, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Materialistically, I don’t think there’s anything I want. I have what I need and what I like. I shouldn’t be complaining about life really. I have it pretty good compared to some. I’d like my bike that was stolen from me back though. May have to put a new bike on my christmas list.

I WANT IT BACK

4. A healthy relationship with someone who understands me, will put up with me and I enjoy being around. I know, I’m not asking for much right? These seems unreasonable at the most optimistic of times. I can still dream though.

5. to be a better photographer. I’m not bad, but I’m nowhere near good. I’d like to be able to take really good photos and make money out of it. Being a photographer for a living would be amazing. Better still, I’d like to be a BBC wildlife photographer – taking pictures for their magazine or even wildlife filming for TV. This is kind of joined to my next want as I’d get paid to go to remote exotic places to see wonderful animals. What a job!

I want his kit… and his job!

6. I want to travel the world. Unfortunately, like most people, I have to work to earn money to live. I have to spend that money on accommodation and food. this leaves little money and time for traveling around the world. I don’t think I’d be able to see everything I wanted to even if I had unlimited money and a life time to see it all.

7. There’s loads of political crap I could pretend I want. You know, like Miss world competitors that always seem to want world peace or for hunger in the world to be eradicated. It will never happen and it’s a waste of a want to believe something like that can happen. There will always be greedy people in the world stopping things like that from happening. What I really want is my allotment. I have been on a waiting list for a while now! Hurry up, I have vegetables to grow! Just so I can tie in the second part of this want to the first – I might just make some kind of soup out of the vegetables and bring it to my nearest homeless shelter. May even do the stereotypical feeding of the homeless at christmas thing this year!

Idiots!

DD

 

Only fools fall in love

Day two of the ten day challenge – 9 loves.
Love is a strong word. I know for a fact that there’s not 9 people in this world that I love but luckily I love other things aswell.

Before I get into listing the things and people I love, I just want to make it clear that I hat the fact that we as humans need to love. I have never been happy single and always wanted to both be loved and to love someone. It’s a highly annoying emotion and life wold be much simpler without it. As far as loving people goes – there are a number of different ways in which I love people, there’s family and friends love, theres relationship love and theres the kind of people who you just love being around. I’ve been in love twice now and strongly believe that your capacity to love is greatly reduced every time you have your heart broken. My intensity of love seems to be less we each new partner. right enough soppy crap, let’s get this thing started…

1. First place has to go to my cat Pan. I love Pan more than anything in the world. He’s a loyal, playful cat who comes and sits on my lap most nights for a fuss. He’s always there to greet me when I come home.

2. My camera. Yes I love my camera. It makes me feel happy, especially when I take a picture that I like and other people comment on it. I love the fact that I know it inside and out. Sounds stupid I know but it is something that I’d be upset to see go, I know it can be replaced but the camera that would replace it wouldn’t be the same. It’s a Canon rebel xsi (or 450d)

3. I feel very strongly towards my first car. I would go as far as saying that I loved it. It gave me the freedom to see my dad more often and stop there when ever I wanted. I loved the fact that I could just get in my car and go where ever at any time. I must have gone somewhere every weekend for the first 6 months of owning it. Sadly it’s the car that I mentioned in my last post. It had to be euthanized after I crashed it. RIP my Astra.

4. PIZZA!!!! The love of my life. It’s always been there to comfort me, to help make me feel better when I’m low. Love isn’t a strong enough word to explain the feelings I have for warm dough with melted cheese and a tomato base and a generous portion of various toppings. I almost re-broke my jaw trying to eat a piece of pizza. I ate through the pain. I’m a fan of many kids from many different places. my favourite has to be a pizza from a little spanish restaurant near my nans, it’s a simple margarita with Basil on it. I tend to go with ham and pineapple when I’m in the UK.

5. My nan definitely deserves one of the 9 spots. She practically raised my two sisters and I. She’s always worked hard at her job and at keeping the family together. We all seem to congregate around nan and grandads at some point during the day. It’s one place where I just feel at home and relaxed. she’s helped me out of a pickle many times in the past and I know she’ll be there if I ever need her in the future. I’ll always remember the holidays to Ireland every year that my grandparents use to bring me on. I’m going to extend this one to cover all my family. I feel I have been fortunate with the family I have been given and grateful.

6. C and B. these two are my closest friends. I love them both dearly. C has become a constant in my life and someone I can trust and talk to about anything. As far as I’m aware, she’s also the only person I know who read’s this blog… Hey C 🙂 Ad is the only other person I really consider as a real friend. I’ve known him since school and although we’ve become very different from each other, we still get on well and help each other out when ever needed. I’m going to add J to this one too. although we haven’t spoken in over 6 months because of his retarded animal of a girlfriend, I still love him and miss him. I can honestly say that my anxiousness, paranoia and depression were greatly reduced during the 7 year period I knew him, I always felt like I had someone who would support and help me if I needed it.

7. I love Demitri and Herb my two Horsefield Tortoises. Demitri was supposed to be a birthday present from Z but we she left a few months before. I’ve always wanted a tortoise and didn’t think it was right to give up on the idea just because she left. I love the way they move and find them fascinating still.

8. My cousin urban is the cutest little girl I have ever met. I tend to get on well with all children but we have a special bond. She lives in australia now with my Aunt and her husband. so I don’t get to see her much but every time we do see each other she screams Dandan and runs for me with her arms wide open. I have never felt so much love from another person before. She’s like a little monkey clinging to me and if anyone trys to talk to me, she gets all defensive and clingy. the sad thing is I know she will grow up and subsequently lose interest in me. I can’t wait to have my own child some day.

   

I miss her a lot.

9. This ones a bit vague but I love America. I have been a few times now and every time I have been awe struck at the place. I love everything, the cars, the tall buildings and the fact that everything has to be bigger and better than anywhere else. I’ve never had a bad time over there and hope to one day live somewhere in the States.

     

These ‘loves’ are likely to change from time to time. So maybe love is too strong to describe them but that’s your lot!

DD